State Rivalries

I was thinking today... I know, shocker... that it would be fun to start some state rivalries. I think there's actually a lot of merit in this because I think it could actually unify the country and bring back some of that spirit that we used to have. (USA! USA! USA! USA!) I have to admit that as much as I disagree with a lot of our head honchos and a lot of the stupid rules that exist, I still tear up every time I hear the national anthem being played. Maybe it's the athlete in me, but I'm proud to be an American. I definitely rooted for them in every olympic event and took it personally when they didn't win. I mean, I was rooting for our Olympic Speedwalkers for Chissake's! But I digress...

I think Washington should start a rivalry with Texas. Why you ask? Simple. I'm from Texas but I live in Washington, thus I'm an expert on both. Plus it'd be cool to be in the middle of the fight. But seriously, I know that Washington tries to pick a fight with California but it's weak and has something to do with Cheese and Wine. Plus California has a better rivalry with Florida over who can build the most retirement communities. I know that Oklahoma tries to say that there's a rivalry with Texas, but come on... everyone knows that Oklahoma- 'taint Texas. (Pun intended). Oklahoma doesn't have anything but the Sooners, and now the Thunder (Sonics) but come on, how many seasons were the Sonics competitive? 5 out of 40 years?

So, why should Washington pick a fight/rivalry with Texas? Well, OregonE, IdaHOE and Montana (Montana is a funny name as it is) can't handle Washington and Lousyana, ArkanSAW, Oklahoma, or Diet Mexico have no chance against Texas. Sure, Texas has 3 times the amount of people that Washington has, completely different weather patterns (ok Eastern Wa is a lot like Texas so I'm told and it looks a lot like Texas, so there's enough to talk $hit about right there).

Washington has Microsoft, Starbucks, Amazon, Boeing, and Nordstrom. Texas has Dell, Texaco, Travelocity, Neiman Marcus, and H-E-B (yeah, no one in Washington has a clue about HEB, but it's the largest independent grocery chain, and #8 among national grocery chains even though it's 98% only in Texas). Texas was founded because people wanted to be away from the Union, but didn't want to be a part of the crazy slave drivin' south either. Washington was founded because a bunch of people on the East Coast wanted to be free of all the East Coast BS and wanted to explore the "Great Northwest". Texas was won from the Mexicans, Washington won from the Native Americans. Both states still have a large population of their Native people and both states continue to oppress them. Texas is a vital gateway to Mexico, Washington is a vital gateway to Canada. The Seahawks claim the 12th Man as their own while everyone in their right mind knows that Texas A&M was the first and most prominent with it (hello 12 men on the kick off team?)

So, who would win? Well, if GW were leading the Texans then Washington would have a fighting chance, but in all likelihood Texas would win this match up. Hell, the Texas A&M Aggie Corps of Cadets could probably take down the state of Washington by themselves (they are just crazy enough). But if it became a computer/internet battle, Washington (well, Seattle) would probably kick the crap out of Texas. High school football... no contest - Texas all the way. College Football? UW has seen a lot of success in the 80's and 90's, and Wazzu some decent success in the early 2000's (WSU vs. Texas 2003 Holiday Bowl, anyone? yeah WSU beat that ass). But Texas and Texas A&M have combined for more National Titles than UW and Wazzu, and while their Washington rivalry is cute and all... it doesn't beat the t.u. vs. TAMU rivalry. Although, the Apple Cup has provided some legendary games... then again,I do seem to remember a certain Ricky bowl over Dat Da Da Dat Dat Nguyen and break the all time college rushing yards record. Energy and recycling... big edge to Washington over Texas, but Texas has 'plenty of landfill space', so this should be a push right? Wrong. FAIL, Texas, FAIL.

Ok, I'm tired, all of this Trash talking has worn me out. But one final note Texas flag vs. Washington flag? No competition, the Lone Star takes out the green whatchamacallit by a landslide. Although you do have to admit that Texas wasn't very creative when coming up with a flag... "uhh, let's go with a red and white stripe, but just one of each, since we're just one state, and then we'll have a blue field with one star, cuz again we're just one state and not 13, but that'll be totally different than Old Glory!" Ok, the Texas flag is still more bad ass than greenie.